It is always beautiful when couples spend quality time together and promise each other to be together for life. But the anxiety and ambivalence get high when you decide to start a family. You know it’s a place you’ve never been and it’s the most critical decision you’ll ever make in your life. Hence, there are some things you need to consider before starting a family. Let’s get straight to it- you need to consider the following:
Are you both on the same page?This is a critical question you need to first ask before deciding to start a family. Yea, you and your partner need to agree to know if you’re truly ready to start having babies. Remember, it comes with a lot of demands- emotional, physical, material, and more. So you need to be ready and be sure you both feel secure enough to welcome a baby. Remember, it’s okay to feel some form of hesitation and ambivalence, but if you are not satisfied with most parts of your relationship life or you feel some turmoil, then, maybe you’re not ready.
Are you financially capable?You should know having a child comes with lots of expenses. Maybe you need a bigger house or move into a bigger apartment before raising a child. Also, you need to consider if you will be a one or two-income family. This is a critical factor that can raise conflict if you don’t have an agreement on how the responsibilities will be shared based on your income. Another important factor to consider is the effect on your career (s). You and your partner need to be realistic about how childbearing will affect your career. And this will determine if both of you will continue working or just one person. Whichever way, you need to consider:
- working hours
- Job flexibility
- promotion possibilities
- Maternity/paternity leaves, etc.
Time spent alone with your spouseWhen you start having babies, you will have more duties and responsibilities to handle, and this tends to affect the relationship with your spouse if you don’t plan properly. You need to understand that your marriage is a priority and you need to always create time for just the two of you. Sustaining your relationship is the best thing you can do for your child. So whether it is a few hours after laying your baby to sleep or a time when your baby stays with a babysitter or any of your trusted family members, you should spend quality time with your spouse.
Making things work dailyYou need to understand how life will look after babies start coming into the picture. You can talk to other new parents to get realistic pictures of what it looks like raising a baby. If you decide to be a stay-at-home mom, you need to consider:
- How does it feel being home all day with only your baby?
- How will you have time to get your manicures and hairdo?
- How will you exercise?
- How are you going to handle the household chores?
- What about time with friends?
- Who will handle domestic chores
- Will you share tasks with your partner or would you delegate all or part to the person taking care of your child?